Falling into grief

Robbie Griffin
2 min readJul 21, 2021

For so much of my life

I have avoided this pain

Afraid to face the depth

I have not honoured the process

Overriding the tenderness

Not allowing the profundity of the emotion to be felt

Bypassing this integral part of the journey

I was brought up in a culture

Were especially for men

Expressing of emotion was impermissible

To express and expose my inner world

Was not welcomed and suppressed

In the last 9 months, both my father figures died

And I split from my partner

It has opened something in me

The intensity that I never imagined possible

A depth of emotion that came from my core

All the unexpressed grief

All the suppressed grief

Racing to the surface

Finally, I have the courage and the capacity to face it

My old habits would have been to cover it up

Attach, distract, dissociate

Anything to avoid the cracking of my heart

This is what my shadow wanted

To keep the negative pattern repeating

In doing things differently

Expressing my vulnerability

Giving space to what wants to come through

Allowing the grief of a love lost to be truly felt

I have been blindsided by the insight and wisdom

I have felt the ecstasy of grief

A celebration of love

A love that once was

If I had not loved that deeply

I would not be able to grief that intensely

Now the worst has passed

But while I was in the depths

It was taxing to come up for air

Wave after wave of paralysing pain

Terrified in an overwhelming abyss

I want other men to feel this gift

To be able to hold themselves in the depth of their pain

To find the courage to express vulnerably

To feel supported, so life can emerge

There is a longing in my heart

For more of us to open deeper to these parts

To share in the rawness and realness

And meet each other from depths of our core.

This is why I felt such a clear yes to Emergence

To help those men who are willing to embark on this journey




Robbie Griffin

Creating a world where we connect and relate from the depths of our raw open hearts. Stand in our truth, express from our hearts, speaking the unspoken…